Clarity brings peace and calm; however their still may be feelings of dissapointment and emotion....today I feel all of these.
I had a great conversation with our family coordinator yesterday and feel I learned of several things that are so helpful in this journey of the unknown. Knowing ANYTHING helps the wait and the anticipaition and the planning. Gaining a better understanding of how things are working and moving forward has helped me SOOOO much. Even though the news is not exactly what my heart wants, that's o.k. because it is all in His timing and I am trusting fully in that. So, especially for you YG friends I hope this sheds some light and clarity for you as well. I think if anything we will have a better way of watching and gauging how and when referrals might come along.
-The agency's main focus right now is to get all the referred families through their court dates successfully. I completelly agree that this has to be the main focus. So after Dec. 7, G-man will be focused on getting the 2nd group their dates, and probably preparing for the first group to travel. I asked if there would be any referrals in between those two court dates. The answer is most likely no, but possibly. It really seems to depend on the workload of G-man and if he feels he has the bandwidth to do that. Again, his focus will be on the first 2 groups of families.
-It sounds like G-man has hired some staff to help him (YEAH!!!) and he will be gettting them ready so that he can eventually task them with some of the things he has had to do, thus giving them the opportunity to do more things simultaneously (This is my interpretation). I will be praying that he finds this great staff and if they are already hired, than I pray for their ability and their hearts for how much good and help they are providing. Also, so that G-man doesn't have to be the one man show (must be exhausting)
-O.K., so IF there was time to do some referrals in December (again, sounds unlikely), there would only be able to be 4 children referred. The transitional home holds up to 16 babies.....there are 12 there now. I asked why not have referrals come as soon as court dates start happening successfully and those new referred babies would stay at the original orphanages for a short time, as they did before the TH. I learned this is not possible as ET adoption guidlines state that an agaency MUST have a transitional home. They are not allowed to stay at the orphanges as soon as they are referred. There is a grace period given to the agencies when they begin working with ET, America World's grace period is over, and great thing that our transitional home is up and running (probably why their haven't been more referrals as G-man was again the main person setting this home up and now we know it was probably pretty time-critical). So, if there are 16 children in the TH they are not even able to get more referrals. So, for us waiting families and those who will be there soon, this is a great piece of information as we can watch the TH for children leaving/coming to better gauge the flow of more referrals. Also, Rachel is there now helping and when she moves there, this home will no longer be on G-man's plate. Also, as G-man gets his new staff up and running, their hope is to eventually have things going really smoothly and the TH home will essentaully have a revloving door as famlies come get their little angels and new referrals enter.
-I also know exactly where I am on the waiting list, not only by # dossier submitted but, what the requests are before me. We were the 21st dossier submitted, i.e. we are 6th on the list. However, we are 4th in line asking for a girl.......AND the first 2 families on the list are asking for multiple children, so they could obviously get girls as well (I believe they are both open to gender). So, I realistically could be like 6th in line for a girl. From this I gather it would be pretty unlikely to get a referral in the next batch, still could happen, but my expectations won't be there. Also, I asked if I should just get through the holidays and the New Year before even thinking again about getting one and the answer was pretty much- that's a good idea, you won't be getting a referral any time soon. A bummer, but a gift to have the understanding of where I am in line!
So, now I feel so relieved to just know the deal. It is so dissapointing that I will be waiting several more months, but at least I can reset my expectaitions and if something happens sooner, great, but I won't be frustrated not knowing what's going on anymore or being upset each Friday when I heard nothing.
I am so thankful that my coordinator was willing to share this information and allow me to literally dig into everything she said. I know again that this is in God's timing and it will all be worth it in the end.
Praying for families to have success on Dec. 7 and praying for the second group of families to have their date VERY soon after!! You guys have been doing so good hanging in there, you're almost there!