Kidd Ethiopia Adoption

Click HERE to watch us getting Endale at the orphanage

Click HERE to watch us getting Gabrielle at the orphanage

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Clarity is a good thing

Clarity brings peace and calm; however their still may be feelings of dissapointment and I feel all of these.

I had a great conversation with our family coordinator yesterday and feel I learned of several things that are so helpful in this journey of the unknown. Knowing ANYTHING helps the wait and the anticipaition and the planning. Gaining a better understanding of how things are working and moving forward has helped me SOOOO much. Even though the news is not exactly what my heart wants, that's o.k. because it is all in His timing and I am trusting fully in that. So, especially for you YG friends I hope this sheds some light and clarity for you as well. I think if anything we will have a better way of watching and gauging how and when referrals might come along.

-The agency's main focus right now is to get all the referred families through their court dates successfully. I completelly agree that this has to be the main focus. So after Dec. 7, G-man will be focused on getting the 2nd group their dates, and probably preparing for the first group to travel. I asked if there would be any referrals in between those two court dates. The answer is most likely no, but possibly. It really seems to depend on the workload of G-man and if he feels he has the bandwidth to do that. Again, his focus will be on the first 2 groups of families.

-It sounds like G-man has hired some staff to help him (YEAH!!!) and he will be gettting them ready so that he can eventually task them with some of the things he has had to do, thus giving them the opportunity to do more things simultaneously (This is my interpretation). I will be praying that he finds this great staff and if they are already hired, than I pray for their ability and their hearts for how much good and help they are providing. Also, so that G-man doesn't have to be the one man show (must be exhausting)

-O.K., so IF there was time to do some referrals in December (again, sounds unlikely), there would only be able to be 4 children referred. The transitional home holds up to 16 babies.....there are 12 there now. I asked why not have referrals come as soon as court dates start happening successfully and those new referred babies would stay at the original orphanages for a short time, as they did before the TH. I learned this is not possible as ET adoption guidlines state that an agaency MUST have a transitional home. They are not allowed to stay at the orphanges as soon as they are referred. There is a grace period given to the agencies when they begin working with ET, America World's grace period is over, and great thing that our transitional home is up and running (probably why their haven't been more referrals as G-man was again the main person setting this home up and now we know it was probably pretty time-critical). So, if there are 16 children in the TH they are not even able to get more referrals. So, for us waiting families and those who will be there soon, this is a great piece of information as we can watch the TH for children leaving/coming to better gauge the flow of more referrals. Also, Rachel is there now helping and when she moves there, this home will no longer be on G-man's plate. Also, as G-man gets his new staff up and running, their hope is to eventually have things going really smoothly and the TH home will essentaully have a revloving door as famlies come get their little angels and new referrals enter.

-I also know exactly where I am on the waiting list, not only by # dossier submitted but, what the requests are before me. We were the 21st dossier submitted, i.e. we are 6th on the list. However, we are 4th in line asking for a girl.......AND the first 2 families on the list are asking for multiple children, so they could obviously get girls as well (I believe they are both open to gender). So, I realistically could be like 6th in line for a girl. From this I gather it would be pretty unlikely to get a referral in the next batch, still could happen, but my expectations won't be there. Also, I asked if I should just get through the holidays and the New Year before even thinking again about getting one and the answer was pretty much- that's a good idea, you won't be getting a referral any time soon. A bummer, but a gift to have the understanding of where I am in line!

So, now I feel so relieved to just know the deal. It is so dissapointing that I will be waiting several more months, but at least I can reset my expectaitions and if something happens sooner, great, but I won't be frustrated not knowing what's going on anymore or being upset each Friday when I heard nothing.

I am so thankful that my coordinator was willing to share this information and allow me to literally dig into everything she said. I know again that this is in God's timing and it will all be worth it in the end.

Praying for families to have success on Dec. 7 and praying for the second group of families to have their date VERY soon after!! You guys have been doing so good hanging in there, you're almost there!


William said...

Thanks so much for asking the questions, and for sharing the results. This really does help.

Susan said...

Oh, that's funny. I just IM-ed this to William, and he's already commented! I was going to say "Thanks" also! It is great to hear what is going on without all of us having to bombard Laurel. Thanks for taking the time to spell it all out. ~Susan

Carpenters said...

It does sound like you had a very good, productive conversation with Laurel. It's great to know what is happening and reassuring that AWAA is hiring more staff to facilitate the process. We'll continue to pray that the referrals come as soon as possible and in God's perfect timing.
With love,

Zack & Rebecca Caldwell said...

Thank you so much for finding this out for us!! Now we can have a better understanding of what is going on. Thank you, thank you!

E said...


I also find this sort of information to be tremendously helpful! I hope it will help Christmas and the New Year pass more peacefully for you and your family.

I think (hope) this is a good thing in that the lag time between referral & court date and then court date & travel might be condensed for future families who receive referrals. Hopefully all of these new happenings (the TH, new staff, etc.) will increase efficiency...and shorten the last phases of the wait!

At present, it seems the "expected" time between referral and travel is longer than predicted when we were earlier in the process. That has been difficult and disappointing. It can be very challenging to know who your child is and try to be patient about things. It defies all of my mama bear instincts. :) I know you get this!

I'm praying things will click into place faster than expected and we'll all be blessed with the news of successful court dates, travel and more referrals very soon!

Thanks for sharing this info. It is a bummer though, huh? (note: bummer has got to be a huge understatement if anything ever was.)


Rob & Candy said...

Hi Erica,
thank you so much for passing on this info! It's very helpful.

Apryl said...

Thank you for taking the step to talk to Laurel and share this info with the rest of us. She will soon be retiring because we are driving her nuts. I've got mixed feelings, disappointment now, but certainly will feel better tomorrow knowing not to expect any news for a while. They always have to leave a little shred of hope though...

I'm going to share this with Seth so we can both shift into "resting" gear and focus on other things that are going on. Though the news means the wait will be a while, it's good to have any news :) Thanks again!

kristin said...


Wow...what bitter sweet news for you. I agree more info is good and puts the mind to rest....a bit! Oh how I hope t hings move quicker than expected!!

Karen said...

Thanks Andrea, for posting this. It really helps me get a better picture in my mind of the process! Bittersweet, yes, but at least more realistic.

*karen b

Danielle said...

Thanks so much for posting everything, Andrea. I know we're SO early in the process since our dossier isn't even submitted yet, but it feels great to have a better understanding of how things work! Thank you for the patience and trust that is so evident in what you've written. I guess I will be holding off on that breastfeeding thing for quite a while longer :)